How to Love God

Jesus taught us that the greatest commandment is to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.” [Matthew 22:36]

But the question is — how?

How does one love Love itself? What can we give to the Lord of the universe, who already has all things in his hands?

If you have struggled to answer this question — to know what is the sacrifice most pleasing to God — you are not alone. Every Lent, millions of Christians around the world evaluate the possibility of giving God the thing they hold most dear.

But is this the thing that God wants?

The Book of Genesis tells us the story of two brothers who each made an offering to God — one’s was appreciated, the other’s was not. Why did God favour the offering of one over the other?

Let us read and unpack what Scripture says —

“Now Abel was a keeper of sheep, and Cain a tiller of the ground. In the course of time Cain brought to the Lord an offering of the fruit of the ground, and Abel for his part brought of the firstlings of his flock, their fat portions. And the Lord had regard for Abel and his offering, but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell. The Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? [Genesis 4:2 -7]

What had Cain gotten wrong — or, what had Abel done ‘well’ in?

Let us look at the heart behind each offering.

Abel was a shepherd and he recognised that he was simply a ‘keeper’ of the sheep — not their creator. When lambs were born to his sheep, he also knew that these firstlings were not a result of something he had done, but what God had done for him; not a result of his work, but a blessing from God.

And so, while Abel made his offering to God, his heart was filled with gratitude — but Cain’s was filled with pride.

Cain believed that it was his labour — tilling, planting, watering, reaping — that had been fruitful, not recognising that “neither he who plants, not he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth” [1 Corinthians 3:7]. Cain wanted to be congratulated for his effort and love — not realising that his entire harvest was a blessing from God. When we too give to God from an effort to please him, we deprive ourselves of the opportunity to know his love for us.

Abel could give happily, because he knew that it was God who had given everything to him; he could love easily because he knew of the grace of God.

God gives us a clue as to how Abel gets it right. “If you do well, will you not be accepted?”, God tells Cain. This is not a rebuke, as Cain thinks, but an opportunity to examine himself in relation to Abel, whose offering had been accepted. Abel is able to acknowledge the goodness and grace of God, because he has ‘done well’ in knowing God. While his sheep grazed, Abel probably spent his hours speaking and listening to God. His brother, on the other hand, had not taken the time to know God, but prepared an offering nonetheless.

How could Cain have known what God wanted from him, when he did not KNOW God?

The offerings we make when we do not know God and his love for us, take us farther away from God instead of bringing us closer to him. These offerings, made out of obligation, fear, or a sense of duty, make it harder for us to accept the love and grace of God. But when we draw closer to God with a desire to know him, he reveals his heart to us and shows us what he wants from us — “steadfast love and not sacrifice, the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings.” [Hosea 6:6]

Abel ‘did well’ not in loving God, but in knowing how much God loved him.

Like Abel, all we really need to do to love God is to want to know him; to simply desire to know him is enough. If we do, God will use every opportunity to reveal himself to us — and to those around us too.

If in the Old Testament Abel was the lesson in how to bring our offering to God , in the new Testament, Mary of Bethany is a lesson in what to bring to the Lord in offering.

Mary of Bethany found God at the feet of Jesus and it is here that she found ways to express her love.

The sister of Martha and Lazarus, Mary is mentioned three times in Scripture, each an illustration of her offering to Jesus; each also a demonstration of how her love draws others closer to him.

“Now as they went on their way, he entered a certain village, where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to what he was saying. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to him and asked, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.” [Luke 10:38–42]

In this introduction to Mary, we are told that while her sister worked hard (unsuccessfully!) to impress Jesus, Mary was able to please her Master by merely sitting at his feet and listening to him.

By simply desiring to be with him in quiet subservience, Mary not only learns of his love, but also becomes a lesson to Martha in how Jesus wants to be loved.

We next hear of Mary at the death of Lazarus, her brother. When Jesus heard of Lazarus’ death, he told his apostles, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep, but I am going there to awaken him.” But before he could reach the village, a short while away from the house, Martha heard that Jesus was on his way and went out to meet him. When she had spoken to Jesus, she returned to Mary who was at home and told her that Jesus had arrived. Now in the house were also some Jews who had come to console them from Jerusalem, about two hours away.

Scripture tells us of Mary’s reaction when she heard that Jesus had arrived — as well as how it impacted the Jews who were with her. Let us read from the book of John:

“The Jews who were with her in the house consoling her saw Mary get up quickly and go out. They followed her because they thought that she was going to the tomb to weep there. When Mary came where Jesus was and saw him, she knelt at his feet and said to him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” When Jesus saw her weeping and the Jews who came with her also weeping, he was greatly disturbed in spirit and deeply moved. [John 11:31–33]

What happens next is still the stuff of legends, even for those who don’t believe it happened, but let us focus on Mary for a bit here, rather than her brother who was raised from the dead. From all the time that she had spent at the feet of Jesus, listening to him, Mary knew how much he loved her and her brother, and she knelt at his feet, as a slave at her master’s. Even though she believed that if Jesus had been there, her brother would not have died, she does not hold this against him, but surrendered to his will.

And then Scripture tells us what happened as a direct result of Mary’s offering of surrender. Because Mary went out to Jesus, and not Lazarus’ tomb to weep, the Jews who had followed her, witnessed the miracle of her brother’s resurrection. “Many of the Jews, therefore, who had come with Mary and had seen what Jesus did believed in him. [John 11:45]

Mary’s desire to be with Jesus, even in her great grief, and her act of kneeling at Jesus’ feet, yet again, led to the conversion of those around her.

And finally, we hear of Mary a third time. Six days before the Passover, Jesus came to Bethany, to have dinner with the risen Lazarus and his sisters. Here, Mary does something unusual.

“Mary took a pound of costly perfume made of pure nard, anointed Jesus’s feet, and wiped them with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. [John 12:3]

As Judas declared, the perfume that Mary used was indeed costly — a pound of it would’ve sold for three hundred denarii. Mary had not been just generous — she had been extravagant. And not only with her money — in wiping Jesus’ feet with her hair, in the unabashed expression of her love and devotion, Mary showed no fear of judgement from others. When Judas rushed to condemn her, Jesus stepped in to her defence, “Leave her alone. She bought it so that she might keep it for the day of my burial. You always have the poor with you, but you do not always have me.” [John 12:7–8]

How did Mary know what she must do? She didn’t know that she was anointing Jesus for his burial — she had simply felt compelled to do what she did, with whatever she had. This is what great love does — inspire great love in return.

And again, what happened as a result of Mary’s devotion? Scripture says, “The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume.” The fragrance of our response to God’s great love seeps into every void, permeating the senses and pointing others to the One who loves us.

In all three mentions of Mary, we see the qualities of a disciple — the one who listens, surrenders, and devotes himself to God, loves him.

And for all of these, as Jesus says, “There is need of only one thing.” [Luke 10:42]

The thing that Jesus is referring to is what Mary has learnt to do at Jesus’ feet — abide in him. Her desire led her to listen, listening to surrender, and surrendering to complete devotion. And all of these led others to know Jesus too — the fruit of Mary’s discipleship. “If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask for whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit and become my disciples. [John 15:7–9]

This is what God wants from us; this is how we must love him.

This Lent, instead of looking for extraordinary ways to love him, let us just sit a while longer at the feet of Jesus and listen to the voice of the one we call Master.