What God has Joined Together

When we imagine God joining two people in relationship — any relationship — we think of him as hand-picking and tying them together with a neat little bow.

But if we have free will (and we do!) there’s something else we need to consider as part of the picture — have we allowed God to join us together?

God is a loving father, considerate of our every need and freedom. When a couple marries, they do so by consent, freely given. It is here that they join each other in marriage — but which is the moment that God has joined them together?

This is not a question that only married couples, or those who wish to marry must consider — it is one that we ALL must ask about each of our relationships — has God joined us?

To answer this question, we must first understand how it is that God joins people.

Jesus once told some Pharisees asking him about his opinion on divorce — “What God has joined together, let no one separate.” [Mark 10:9]. Because of our free will, when we say that God has joined two people together, more than an act of joining, it is a result — we are joined.

When two people have an individual relationship with God, they are also, inexorably, joined to each other — by their love for Him.

Think of it like this — when my sister married her husband Damian, my family and I were joined to him too. He became my brother-in-law, and a son-in-law to my parents. We loved her — Damian loved her too. By our mutual love for her, we were joined to Damian, and he was joined to us. Here’s the kicker — my sister didn’t really do anything to join us and neither did we…we were all joined together simply by our love for her.

The same principle applies — all those who love God and are in relationship with him are also joined to each other…by virtue of this relationship. The Greek word for ‘joined together” is syzeugnymi, which literally means to yoke together. There is another place in the Bible where the imagery of the yoke is invoked. Jesus tells us, “Come to me, all you who are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” [Matthew 11:28–30] Jesus calls us, who are heavy burdened, to come to him for rest — but can we think of anyone with a greater burden than him who had to bring the whole of humanity to salvation? And yet, Jesus tells us that his own burden is light. How? He himself remains yoked to someone who takes all the weight of the burden —his Father. And Jesus offers to teach us how to turn our heavy burdens into light ones too. If we are humble and meek enough to choose to be yoked and led by Jesus, as he is by his Father, we too will be able to bear the unbearable.

So when we struggle in our relationships and wonder why God isn’t doing anything — why he isn’t making our children more respectful, or our spouse more loving, our parents more considerate — instead of asking God to bring them closer to us, we would do better in asking God to draw us closer to Him. The rest will follow.

And this is a choice, sometimes a very difficult one — to focus on OUR relationship with God, instead of the relationship that troubles us.

Jesus knows this. He also knows that real relationships are forged in the fire of a love for God. To someone who once told him that his mother and brothers were waiting outside, Jesus replied, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” “And pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.” [Matthew 12:40–50]

We can only do the will of our Father if we know of his love for us —trusting in this love enough to return it in obedience. It is only through Jesus that we can truly know our Father’s love and be joined to him (click here to know why this is!); only through a relationship with him, can we be joined in relationship with all others who love him— brothers and sisters in Christ.

For it is in Christ that all things hold together, with him as the head, and us, one body of believers. [see Colossians 1]

May we remain yoked to him.

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[Want to know how? Check out this wonderful Guide to Personal Prayer to help you begin/deepen your relationship with Jesus!]

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Know someone struggling in a relationship? Click here and scroll to the end for a list of ways that YOU can help!