Discipline and Desire

Have you ever found yourself near the bottom of a spiral, chasing thoughts of unworthiness and hopelessness; identifying with the words of St. Paul when he says –

“ I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate… I can will what is right, but I cannot do it.” [Romans 7: 15–18]

Paul is describing not himself, but the man or woman who has not understood the secret to discipline. Anyone who has ever given in to their desires – choosing Netflix over studies, chocolate over the gym, porn over prayer, gossip over work – has, at some point, surely found themselves thinking, “If only I were a little more disciplined.” And then taking it upon their shoulders, this weighty task of disciplining themselves, tried, forged ahead… and failed.

The Bible often mentions the disciplining of the self. But what does this Christian idea of discipline entail — and how are we meant to do it?

After all, how are we meant to discipline ourselves? Discipline, by definition, is something that is enforced, it’s Latin root ‘disciplina’ meaning “instruction and training”. So why then does God not do it for us? It would have been so easy for God to have simply built us with total control over our impulses, emotions and actions.

That humans don’t come with ‘discipline’ pre-installed, simply points to the fact that this is something we must CHOOSE.

Consider one of the several passages in the Bible that speak of discipline —

6 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, so that he may exalt you in due time. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you. 8 Discipline yourselves, keep alert. Like a roaring lion your adversary the devil prowls around, looking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him, steadfast in your faith, for you know that your brothers and sisterse in all the world are undergoing the same kinds of suffering. 10 And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, support, strengthen, and establish you. 11 To him be the power forever and ever. Amen. [1 Peter 5:6–11]

There is much to unpack here, but let’s begin with the need for discipline. This passage has often been quoted to warn Christians – discipline is needed to stay alert and resist our adversary, the devil, who is as powerful as a roaring lion.

But think about it — a lion on the prowl, stalking his prey, NEVER roars! Far from roaring, the lion stealthily creeps up behind his prey to surprise and leap upon it. It is only the old, toothless lion that roars to scare his prey into surrendering itself over to him.

But if it is indeed a toothless predator that we face, why do we still need to discipline ourselves and remain alert? The answer may be found in studying the context of this passage, a letter from the apostle Peter to five Christian communities living in exile.

This verse, and indeed Peter’s entire letter, is not about how to live, but how to suffer.

Suffering is inexorable and will inevitably come, the apostle says, but disciplining ourselves is how we will be able to endure and accept it, joining it to the suffering of Christ. It is in this context that the apostle tells his readers, “Therefore, prepare your minds for action; discipline yourselves, set all your hope on the grace that Jesus Christ will bring you when he is revealed.” [1 Peter 1:13]

This grace, Peter reminds us, had long been proclaimed by the prophets of old. They, through “careful search and enquiry” knew that they were serving not themselves, but those who came after them — and it was this that had given them strength in their suffering. So when Peter exhorts us to prepare our minds for action, it is the same “careful search and enquiry” he is calling us to — to seek the things of heaven, as Jesus had once himself called Peter to do. [See Matthew 16:23]

When we begin to seek the things of heaven, or the will of God, is when we will find the greatest need to be disciplined. We will be distracted by many thing — even good things that will masquerade as the things of God. And now Peter tells us something of what needs to be disciplined within us — not our emotions or our actions, but something that we do indeed have complete control over — our desires. “Like obedient children, do not be conformed to the desires that you formally had in ignorance”, he says. [1 Peter 1:14]

In order to actively seek the things of heaven and the will of God, as the prophets did, we have to desire these things. This is what it means to be holy — to be set apart from the things of the world — simply by desiring the things of heaven.

Peter explains why this is a prerequisite — this disciplining of our desires. “The end of all things is near, therefore, be serious and discipline yourself for the sake of your prayers.” [1 Peter 4:7]

If the action that we have to prepare our minds for is to SEEK, then it is our own human DESIRES that we must discipline — so that we can seek the RIGHT things and ASK for them.

When we do, Jesus promised that our prayers would be answered — “Ask and you will receive, seek and you will find”. [Matthew 7:7] But first, he told us what to seek for. “Seek first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness” [Matthew 6:33]

Peter then further tells us which are the prayers that will be answered — the ones that are loving. In an oft-misunderstood verse, and so generally taken to be misogynistic, Peter says, “Wives, in the same way, be subject to your husbands, so that, even if some of them do not obey the word, they may be won over without a word by their wives’ conduct, when they see the purity and respect of your conduct.” [1 Peter 3:1,2] He continues, “Husbands, in the same way, show consideration for your wives in your life together, paying honor to the woman — though the weaker vessel, they are joint heirs of the gracious gift of life — so that nothing may hinder your prayers. [1 Peter 3:7]

Both sets of instructions are the same — to give honor where it is believed to be undeserved; and are linked with a very important phrase — “in the same way” [that Christ does]. Through the example of the husband and wife, Peter is asking not just married couples, but everyone to follow in the footsteps of Christ who, “When he was abused, he did not return abuse; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but he entrusted himself to the one who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the cross so that, having died to sins, we might live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed. For you were going astray like sheep, but now you have returned to the shepherd and guardian of your souls.” [1 Peter 2:23–25] As Jesus demonstrated, it is in silent suffering that the other is won over, not just to oneself, but to God. [More on this here!]

Our love, expressed in silent suffering, is why our desire/prayer for the other to experience Christ’s grace will be answered.

Finally, we return to Peter’s warning about our adversary — the prowling, roaring lion, looking for souls to devour. The imagery is powerful (even though we might have rendered it toothless by discovering that it is a lion that has already announced its presence!) and it may remind us of the picture of Sin that God paints to an angry Cain. “Sin is lurking at the door; its desire is for you, but you must master it.” [Genesis 4:7] This lurking lion whose desire is for us can be mastered — by mastering our own desire. What is it that will help us resist our worldly desires, including the desire to succeed financially, to be popular, to fight…even for justice?

Cain was not able to master Sin because he did not know God. It is our faith in God and his love for us that will help us remember in our suffering that if God has allowed it, then he will make good come from it. If we are convinced that God truly loves us, we will be assured, even in suffering, that God’s plans for us are for our wellbeing.

If Cain had spent enough time with God, seeking the things of heaven, he would have known that God loved him — that his suffering was not punishment, but an invitation to draw closer.

Peter’s recommendation to “humble [ourselves]” is true then — it is pride too that keeps us away from God; from accepting suffering, believing either that our desires are in accordance with God, or are greater than the suffering of others.

On the other hand, faith in God’s love for us, as well as a desire for the things of heaven — for others to experience the love of God too — will help us remember that while others may be undergoing the same kinds of suffering, they might not know God. This divine understanding and grace will strengthen us in bearing our sufferings silently — and draw the other to God.

So if you think of self-discipline as burdensome, something that weighs heavy on your heart and on your shoulders, let me summarise this piece to lighten your load —

The disciplining of ourselves has less to do with turning away from the things of the world, and more to do with turning towards the things of heaven.

And if your load seems heavy still, let not my words, but Jesus’ reassure you:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” [Matthew 11:28–30]